


Household Staff Meeting

by Ononymous



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Deltarune
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 13:10:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19394812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: The court wizard of the Dark World is tending to the results of an experiment, when the court jester pays him a visit for entirely innocent reasons.Yeah, I don't believe that summary either.





	Household Staff Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Original suggestion: Uhh maybe some Seam and Jevil stuff?

Under the eye of the magnifying glass, the rip was more like a canyon, the purple land rent asunder to open up a deep valley of fluffy white. A large finger of similar purple swept down and lightly prodded the innards, yet no earthquake came about.

"Hmm... I've had worse."

Seam raised his head, and the magnifying glass floated magically over to a shelf full of silvery instruments and arcane curios. At the same time a dull needle and a spool of orange thread came to Seam's silent bidding. Both floated before a button in his face as a slender thread coiled out and plunged into the needle's eye without error. Taking a moment to feel the button's twin, it was a little loose, Seam took the needle, once again rested his damaged arm on the bench, and began to sew.

"And lo, he lies low, long located where I last laid eyes!"

Seam didn't stop what he was doing, he merely looked behind him to where the speaker was. He smirked. "Jevil."

"My dear Shawmathan!" The permanent grin peeked around the brown robes of the court wizard. "A new record! I've never seen such a tear! You've been holding out on me."

"Hmm?"

"A boring sad sack such as yourself to be so wounded. Either the King That Glitters was especially foul of form this morning, or you attempted a great feat of sorcery. I hope it was the former!"

"You would," said Seam, putting the needle down. "Aye, the King of Hearts bade me try an experiment."

"He who gloats? Most out of sorts for such a friend to the soft and idle. I love it! How did it turn out?"

Seam raised his injured arm. "You tell me."

"Oh, something went wrong..." The grin faded, and a neutral observer thought Jevil may have actually be concerned for his friend. Seam knew this to be both true and false. "Good! Uee hee hee!"

"Figured you'd like it."

"Figured well, you did." Jevil rocked back and forth on his feet. "What better way to give the realm a kick in the pants than a little chaos?"

Seam sniffed in amusement. "That's your proposal to everything."

"Marry nuncle, it's yet to steer me wrong!"

"As if you would let either prince or pauper steer you anywhere."

"Truly, your wisdom is most sage, sage!" Jevil looked over to the instruments, knowing from experience not to touch them, and saw a few were emitting smoke. "So what did the King That Gloats bid you attempt?"

"He bade me to tell naught but he," said Seam, with an extra gruff note. "But it seemed very, very... interesting..."

"What do you two think?"

Once again Seam looked over to Jevil, wondering who else he was talking to. He realised Jevil was not talking to him at all, instead interrogating two of the instruments. Despite his keeping a clear distance to avoid Seam's protective wards, one instrument rotated in his direction.

"I think the experiment is how best to avoid the Court Jester and leave him in a state of perpetual boredom!" the instrument said, in a voice nothing like Jevil's.

"Nobody asked your opinion," responded Seam, continuing his sewing.

"A jester that seeks permission for their opinion is nothing of the sort! Besides, the question felt important to utter."

"Like the time you felt it important that Lord Spade utter a fart."

"Uee hee! The King That Glowers can be such a buzzkill. What better way to lighten the mood?"

"There are less hazardous japes one can attempt." Seam held the thread down with his finger as it broke from the spool and tied itself up, leaving his would half closed. The spool then released another thread to join with the needle to start work on the second half. "So what brings your merrymaking self to such a boring sad sack as me?"

"Why the most innocent of reasons. To spend time with my true friend. And establish an alibi!"

"Alibi for what...?" Seam's ragged ears twitched as he shook his head. "Forget it. Ignorance is bliss."

"Ugh, you're no fun. That's why you're so much fun!" Jevil's head returned to observing Seam's sewing, while the rest of him remained standing by the instruments. "You're sure taking your time with that."

"Important to do it right, especially when doing it to yourself."

"And yet you are the court wizard! A hocus pocus would leave your arm as if nothing had happened. A more boring outcome, but one most folk prefer in my experience."

"Magic has its limits. And yes," he planted a shushing finger over Jevil's mouth, "that means not going to places no mortal can control. My body is ill suited to that sort of healing, the effects would be delightful to you, which is why I avoid them."

"Phooey! Change is good, gotta mix things up or else you go stale, stale! Wait, I know: Tailswap!"

Before Seam could ask what he meant, he felt a tug behind him. Looking over his shoulder, the long bushy limb he was used to was missing, a thin wiry appendage rigidly pointing upwards in its place. He looked over at Jevil, and as expected he held the end of Seam's tail in his hands as it coiled behind him, stroking it gently.

"Ooh, you keep it soft and fluffy! Betcha you'd magic it back to normal if you tore it instead!" He started bouncing around and giggling.

"Jevil, please give me back my tail," said Seam, unperturbed.

"Why? I traded for it, fair and square!"

Jevil bent over, allowing the stolen tail to stick upright, mimicking a rude hand gesture, before resuming his aimless bouncing. He was just through his fourth "Uee hee hee!" when the tail suddenly wrapped around his legs, tripping him up.

"Oof, what the-?"

"I'm rather attached to it," continued Seam, "even if I'm not attached to it right now."

The tail tightened its grip on Jevil. "A clever trick, wizard! If I'd known you'd do that, I'd have done the same to my tail before I removed it."

"Hindsight is a wonderful-"

"So I'll do it now!" Jevil snapped his fingers. The wiry tail suddenly swooped down trying to constrict its reluctant owner as tit-for-tat, but being much shorter it wasn't able to bind Seam like its counterpart could.

"...didn't think this through, huh?"

"Gets in the way of the fun, to think about the consequences. Oh very well, I concede defeat!" Seam felt another tug, and sure enough his tail was where it was supposed to be. "I attached it with magic. As if I never did a thing!" He took well-worn pleasure in Seam's less than satisfied expression. "So, Mage-That-Won't-Mage, when are you done with your embroidery project?"

"Takes time to do it properly," said Seam, focusing on it fully for the first time since Jevil entered the room. "You're going to suggest something much more fun than caring for my body, I'll wager."

"You win!" Jevil giggled. "Once you release yourself from the futility of duty, I thought we may journey west, beyond forest and field, and see what lays there."

Seam squeezed his arm to keep the tear closed as he wrestled with the needle. "Not like you not to rush off somewhere you've never been before. What brought about this patience?"

"Why, the lack of a friend to share it, of course!"

The last stitch was in place just in time. Seam willed the needle return to its sewing kit as he got off his seat at last, the brown sleeve of his robes covering up his fluffy scar, and looked down at where Jevil had been standing. Of course by now he was once again bouncing around the room, making it hard for Seam to scrutinise him, which was indeed the point.

"...sounds like fun. I suppose even sad sacks like me need to get out from time to time."

Jevil froze mid-air, arms and legs mid-flair, face mid-raucus laugh, staring at Seam. Then Seam found himself in a ruthlessly tight grapple, Jevil's arms twisting like springs to capture him much more successfully than his tail had attempted.

"I'm the best!" he cried. "But you're fun, too! Let us away, before-"

The door banged open. Jevil fell silent immediately, but continued his death hug. Seam looked to the pale haired slender figure with the haughtiest air.

"Courtst Wizard!" yelled Rouxls Kaard. "Thine services are needed postst haste!"

"What's the matter, your grace?" asked Seam, as Jevil released him unnoticed.

"'tis Lord Club! One of'th his heads perusedeth a mysterious book an' now he believeths no longer in gravityst! Hith royal physique now drifts acrosseth the ceiling absentst wing or balloon or jetstpack! Thou must re-teacheth the laws of physicst to him at once lest he driftst to the realm ofth old tiles!"

Rouxls left without waiting for a response, obviously with the intent of buttering up anyone around the stricken sovereign. Jevil started cackling.

"Sounds like the King That Gabs is feeling truly light hearted this day! Oh what joy!"

"Jevil..."

"What's new, pussycat?"

...forget it, plausible deniability has its value. "Our venture must wait, my futile duty takes precedent."

"Very well. But you owe me for this rain check!"

"I have a funny feeling that in fact we're even." He looked at Jevil's sincerely-innocent-therefore-damning expression.

"...touche! I shall away then, for glasses of warm water are perfect to prevent slumbering hands from shivering. Uee hee hee!"

And Jevil was no longer there. Seam had no memory of him using the door to leave. Chuckling to himself, he waved his hand, and a number of scrolls extracted themselves from a bookshelf as he picked up some potions to counteract whatever truly persuasive argument the King of Clubs had read.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
